I was just feeling out some thoughts last week or so on feeling stuck in some areas of life. I’m happy to say, I feel like I was heard some how and a wonderful job opportunity opened up. It was such an up lifting, liberating feeling. Change can be good, great even. The job is administration position at a small tractor and equipment supply and shop. Great hours Monday through Friday. Great starting pay and chance of $100 commissions if I complete an Internet sale. I want to feel as if I’ve been doing something right. Even though right now some people in my life are not making me feel the same. How much is enough? When do you say when? I’ve been making a list of not only things that stress me, but things that relieve it as well. With that, decisions will be made on what I can personally change on both lists. What can I let go of that stressing me to a point where it’s not worth it? What can I bring more of into my life to help relieve some of the stress that will never go away. But that’s just it. No matter how zen I think I can be I still have unplanned stressors in my life. I got to learn to not stress over things out of my control but when it directly affects me, it’s hard. So with that being said, it smart to have some things in place that can bring me back to a safe, calm place. I’ve been trying really hard to not let bother me. But dammit sometimes they do. I’m bothered to say the least. But by the time I’ve worked up the courage to say anything, it’s usually turned around on me to where I’m the bad guy through and through. I’ve been trying just to keep to myself more. At work and home. I changed jobs or am changing jobs mainly because of stress. I couldn’t change things that were stressing me at work. It was making me someone else. This job couldn’t been a better blessing. I’ll be getting home around the same time as Sydni. First year in the middle school and I want to be more a part of her everyday life.
I feel like I’m stuck sometimes here lately and if I don’t do something different.. I’m going to close my eyes and it be ten years later just like that. I’ll be the forty year old waitress… I see how … Continue reading →
So I needed some good news in my life when some actually came this time. My friend calls with talk of expanding her business to include a wellness center offering yoga. We tossed around ideas for a few minutes because … Continue reading →
It’s said trying a few simple things to change or strengthen a few behaviors for true happiness. 1. Being calmed by water watching isn’t just for dreamy Pisces. Being near, looking over a body of water can be soothing to … Continue reading →
Okay.. So I am on a six step deal to realize and follow my true dream. The first step is answering the question, what do I know about myself? What do I know about my dream. How can I benefit … Continue reading →
So not just a van.. mind you. A camper van, a vanagon. I have always heard the call of the open road, but never thought it for me for several reasons. I’m thirty with a ten year old daughter who is ready for a change. We have always leaned toward the minimal side and this seems.. perfect. Rent the house out while we are gone. I have been doing some minor restorations to the house. Pretty much refreshing things up. A new microwave, paint, baseboards in the bathroom. The ideal way would be to rent the lake house for enough to cover mortgage and taxes. Maybe even a little extra to nest egg.
Recently faced with short term goals lately as enough time has passed with no real plan to place that its time to regroup. As soon as my student loans paperwork can filled > 50 days and processed, I can return to school under Pell grant without loans. How dumb that was.. I feel the financial institutions should make you show a business plan almost to get the loans they give out per semester. We’re in college for Pete’s sake! We are supposed to be poor then go out and get our degree job. But Hell no, they asked if I needed the full amount??! Real thought needs to be put in on what job/career will be most fitting with finances and security. Degree needs to be picked with a job in mind. I felt double crossed as I left micro and chemistry lab like a super cool mad scientist to get into what I thought was the program of my dreams of Nursing. No. It didn’t happen that way. At all. Thoroughly disgusted with the time and effort I spent to get into this super selective program.. and I hated it. No preparation for what I was to face in the two years of core classes geared toward the Nursing program. :((( Not a happy camper and I knew I didn’t want to be stuck in this field. I took a hardship leave and left. Where do I go from now?
I mean I have my minor in journalism.. That’s what I love. Words. They can do so much, take you somewhere that you have never been. you think artists starve?? Journalists eat dirt. Not even good dirt, like scraggy dirt, yuck. So here my ramblings will go for now as I process through this life of a mother, hippie, peace promoter, you get the picture 😉 There are so many things I want to do, record here, take you all into my silly, wild, crazy life as I figure out where I go from here. About this close to renting the house out, buying a van and hitting the road. Seriously.
For now on a personal level, smile more it catches on. Feel happier. Keep up my Yoga, push Syd to find the peace that comes with grounded breathing and focus. She already knows some simple routines to try on her own, but I want her to want to do them, need to like I do.
One day over breakfast, Wolf started cultivating the idea of a road trip, through the Americas, in a Westy – the classic Volkswagen Vanagon camper vans you might imagine living in down by a river somewhere…
At the time it seemed funny. And fun. So we kept joking about it.
And then we started reading about other people who were doing something similar. Because, you know, it was just fun.
And then we casually checked Craigslist to see what kind of vans were even out there. Just because we were curious. And that, my friends, was the beginning of the end.
From there, it escalated into an all-out, full-speed-ahead, take-no-prisoners onslaught of all Westy, all the time, laser-focused search mode. Our life slowly evolved from fun observers of Westy culture, into hourly scouring of Craigslist ads, obsessive evaluation of mechanical attributes, and evening-long debates about Subaru conversions. We learned about the cult following…
I feel like I’m in confession a little, even though I’m not Catholic . So much has happen since my last post. Sydni and I are continuing with our self sustainability as much as we can here! I work full time now at an awesome bar and grill. I still commute!! The Rat Ride has done me well! I have also added a tricycle to our wheels. With a basket in the back, it’s perfect for the .2 miles to the grocery. Work is about .3 miles in the other direction. So everything works out great!
It’s harder the find that balance working in such a fast paced environment, even harder to not take it home. Sydni and I have started back to our yoga practice to help with that. She has really been a wall for me this past year. She understands more than I could even ask of her.
We are doing some container gardening and we have 5 fruit trees . I’m re doing the front flower beds and plan on incorporating more edible landscaping into to ornamental already there. Slowly but surely!! It’s so good to be back down south, where you can buy a bushel of acre peas from your cousin, get a bag of tomatoes from your mom, the list goes on. I’ve got my compost almost at full rock 🙂 Going through as much food at work prepping stuff really helps add to the heap. The worm farm is put together but not yet operational. Trying to build up some of the dirt in the back that has been barren for so long due to shade and the wrong plantings. Got some beautiful black and red elephant ears, planted because you know I love bulbs!! ivy and a little jasmine I’m trying to save. It’s all coming along 🙂
We are still doing all of our art stuff on the side and may have found a partner in the department which could mean big things!! She is going to teach me to sew first hand and I cannot wait!!
So… What I’ve learned so far since the move.. Even though permaculture is about building your food forest on a permanent location. Name kinda says it all. Now sustainability and it’s practices, use it anywhere you go..
When we got here, I was stoked to be back, but I’ve cried over losing my micro farm several times. I miss the dirt in my garden. I miss the sweet smell of it. I’ve started no seeds. I bought 2 tomato plants with a free aphid infestation. That are potted up and sitting pretty on the dock. I think we may add a jalapeno today. I can have a dock garden 🙂 my pear tree has no blooms, even though neighbours around block is.. I think she may get some fish emulsion today. She had a banana peel the week I got here. My neighbours on closest side have 2 plum trees that are being devoured by moss, but they have blooms all over. I may go strip it today. Be awesome for some preserves! My neighbours on the other side have a lemon tree. We have a lemon and lime coming. So we will def have more of an orchard than last time. I don’t have any of my brambles though. I can only hope the people who decide to buy our house in NC loves all we’ve done.
Sometimes I get sad knowing I’ll never have the garden or chickens here. As much as I love this family home, I still want the farm life. All kinds of animals, bees, crops everywhere! I dropping cowpeas today along fence. We still hold all our frugal practices very close. We have and want to. I never want to lose the act of humility. Doing things for yourself, not relying on others, brings a sense of that I never want to lose. Knowing where our food comes from with out paying ‘organic’ prices. It blows me away what they want for non antibiotic, anti hormone, anti real animal! Sheesh.
Once we get our routine back and Michael starts work, things will smooth out even better. Now we are waiting for his criminal background to come back so he can go take his drug test. We are hoping, HOPING, that it will be this week. It was almost 3 weeks ago Honda told him he was hired and he has still yet to start. I knew things move slower down here, that I have not forgot, but its the lack of southern professionalism that has me concerned. It seems they are flying by seat of their pants in his hiring process and we just really hope that it is not a show of the true work ethic held in that establishment. Soon though, we need all of us to get back on track with a way of life down here. Sydni is the only one with a routine! She’s doing great!! She got to go on the Jeckyl Island trip because someone had to back out and there is no refunds. So they chose her! I told her she had to be one the luckiest little girls in the world, she hugs me and smiles. As long as I’m with you, I am, she says…